my "familys" when in NDP last year.. the bond still strong though a lot of conflicts we have.
our bond are getting stronger day by day... i just love being with my "familys"



my side, team 1, 2 & 3. we just about to become closer. me and dian have become "buddy". and yeaa, Fana and Bai have new "sisters". haha... they all so manje... i starting to love them. but hey, my 2007 famz still e top priority in my heart ya.



Our Cover Album


29 June 2008 - Ani & Farhan 's Wedding Day





last min Suk can make it to the wedding day. wahh... lucky she call me in the morning. Ani looks so pretty in that suit. i think the ever dumbest person on earth that went for wedding w/o having taking the wedding bride & groom is ME. grr... how could i forget to take the pics of them... aiyah...


anyway.. im starting my training 2mrw. i hope i could overcome it.. pray hard for me guys...





Blogged @ 6:54 PM

it's good to find out about yourself also through different experiences
and find out the things that you are good at
the things you enjoy doing...

every experience is a process of learning about yourself
and growing through them
whether they are happy experiences
or not so happy ones...

we all become better people through these things....

but recognise that we are all different people...
especially with younger people
coz everyone is trying to find their identities and their styles...

so don't worry ...
just play along and joke along with them...
get to know them as your friends first before anything else...

and you'll find that even though they have their own way of doing things
they'd still like to help you along and make things easy for you..

so press on! don't give up!

ps: quote by Hau Teng, one of my "Mummy"




If I was one thing, I'd be a candle
Lighting the way so you can handle
Your life easier without woes
Not having to fight with your foes.

I'd help keep you from stumbling over
Things blocking your path to an open door.

If I light your path, life is easier,
Even strong winds, my light will not deter.
No matter what, I'm here for you
To cheer you up when you are blue.

Do not fret when times get tough,
If things look down or kind of rough.

Just remember, I'm always here,
In your heart, close and near.
I will help you out in every way,
Happiness and love in your heart will stay.

Don't blow me out, that's one request
Unless it's me you do detest.
I do not try to hurt anyone
That isn't good or any fun.

But one day you may leave me behind
You may no longer need my light to shine.
If that day comes, go on your way
And I will hope to see you again one day.

If one day, I don't appear,
Do not worry, do not fear
I may be gone, but in your heart
The light I gave you did not depart.

It will be there forever and a day
To always bring happiness and light your way.
Farewell for now, I'm needed elsewhere
If your path grows dark, in your heart, I'm there.

So I'm really not gone, just not seen,
I would not leave, I'm not that mean.
Only one simple request that I must say,
Please, never forget those who lit your way





Blogged @ 1:54 PM

i always thought i have move on.... i thought i have forget everything about him. but i guess... deep down inside of me, i still missing him. i miss him. i know. its not as if he knows that i still miss him. he thought me how to love. he thought me how to be loved. and i know. i have hurt his feelings... i dunno what i could do to have him back again in my life. 3 yrs have past... and still now.. i still missing him badly. the feeling inside of me... makes me longed to be loved. thought i could love some other guy beside him. i cant lie to myself. i know my feelings will always be for him. in the past, i thought i need only friends and family beside me to guide me through. his presence did not acknowledged by me even though we are couple back then. he tried all ways to win my heart. he tried his best to love me. why i cant see all that? everyone hates his/her past lovers... but me? until now im still waiting for him to come back.. for a chance to prove my love all this while is for him and not for anyone... i need a chance to redeem my past deeds towards him. all i need one more chance... i dunno how could i have this chance. every night i pray. pray for him to give me a last chance for me to redeem. i missing him badly. i feel like hugging him whenever i see his face. i feel like calling him when i see his house. i just want him badly... i dunno how i just realise that i love him. the day we broke off... i regret for stating or doing that. i dunno how could i get this right... i am stupid to do all that... i hate it! i hate myself! i love him until now... and i know i will... and nobody can ever replaced him... nobody..





Blogged @ 9:40 PM

i was shocked. after reading a blog, i feel "Hat-Trick". 3 scene, all took place in 1 act.

i was fcuking irritated by what that someone did to me. i feel like a stupid person. to think that the event that makes me overjoyed, actually there's something goes behind it. ahh... i feel busted. i feel that everything was an act. just a merely act to makes me feel paisey or anything else. i shouldn't listen in the first place. i should have listen to my instinct. why am i so stupid of n0t knowing the consequences in the first place? i do like him. i like the way he smile at me. the way he look at me when he talk. everything about him... fcuked!

yesterday in the train:

Ju: eh ain, you 0kay or not?
Ain: ya. why?
Ju: u look stressed. is there something bothering you?
Ain: no la. just thinking of my situation of not having a job currently.
Ju; dont be stressed la. u know u can always talk to me.
Ain: no la. i just feel i need a job now. bcuz it seems im taking a long holiday w/o been paid.

but in fact, i know deep inside im still cant get over it for what have happened. i mean what they are trying to do. by forcing can make him likes me? or forcing him to likes me? and why he can readily follow what they say? aku rasa macam tertipu. i cant stop thinking like that. it spoilts everything. now, he makes me asking the meaning of sincerity.

start the day happy and fun. but damn it! end the day with heart-break. i hate you guys!

Blogged @ 2:54 PM

Blogged @ 10:35 PM

yesterday was fun. practice was held at Marina Platform. had lunch at Marina Sq Food Junction. after that, went to far east to survey for my bag. after that, Eqin have to go back. So left me and him... went for shopping b4 we went home sweet home.


anyway... cut my hair today... my sis wanna experiment a new haircut. u guys can check it out at my frenster profile... at is_06@hotmail.com





Blogged @ 1:51 AM

Title: Lagu Untukmu
Artist: Meet Uncle Hussain
Album: KAMI The Album


Tiada bintang
Dapat menerangkan hati yang telah dicelah
Bagaiku lumpuh tak mampu berdiri
Aku, tetap begini
Takkan berubah kerna aku tetap aku
Dan alur hidupmu bukanlah aku

(*) Guna hati akal dan fikiranmu
Berbeza
Kau dan juga aku
Dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu

Adakah aku
Hanya boneka yang sering engkau mainkan
Yang dikawal oleh jari-jarimu
Ku punya hati dan perasaan pernahkah engkau fikirkan
Cukup cukuplah oh cukuplah

(repeat *)

Tak tahan tak tahan
Sabarku tak tertahan
Melayan sikapmu perawan
Berbeza berbeza
Kau dan aku berbeza
Kita memang tak serupa
Bebaskan bebaskan
Ku ingin dilepaskan
Kita tidak sehaluan
Cukuplah sudahlah
Sampai di sini saja
Hubungan kita berdua
wo....wo....woo......









everyone have a dream... a dream which most people would put high hopes on that dream. Like everyone, myself to0 have dreams to achieve. Everyone dream to be rich, to have cars, to have someone who can confine on, to have a life-partner who understands them. by the way...

the relationship between me and Mummy HauTeng have improved. maybe, after long weeks of n0t contacting with each other, the relationship needs to be "upgrade". lots of stories to catch up. and i managed to tell her part of it. although during NDP i always complained about her nowadays.. but inside my heart, she's still the best...(not forgetting Mummy Fiona too). i guess im just plain freaking paranoid about her. maybe i should be more optimistic about the surroundings. i must take positive in everything that i do. Anyway...

I began to fall in love with Malaysian's Drama "KAMI". its about 5 teenagers who have different kind of backgrounds trying to suits one another's environment. they named themselves as "KAMI". "KAMI" is actually a Fanzines titled written by one of them whom she's a hidden identity to the group. im really fallen in love in that drama and i really can't wait for the Movie to be released. thanks to Dee, n0w im stuck and excited to wait for the ending to the Drama cum Movie. Thanks honey!~

At times, when we try to save one relationship, without knowing it, we actually sacrifice another relationship. we tend to lose a relationship unknowingly, when we try to save another.

we all know the journey to make us grow up is not an easy one. the relationship is getting more difficult. the body which works hard is getting very tired. the heart which we hope will soften hardened even more. And the loneliness in our heart makes us wants to achieve happiness and perfection. We are aware and know that we must be brave to free ourselves. BRAVE ENOUGH TO FORGET OUR PREVIOUS MEMORIES AND TO LOOK FOR SERENITY. but we have to go through our life ONE STEP AT A TIME. we keep on fighting with ourselves and face the burden that come our way. WE CAN ONLY PREPARE OURSELVES AND WAIT FOR THE OPPORTUNITIES AND SEIZE BACK WHAT WE HAVE LOST.


ps: to hate you is not my wish. to love you is not my will.





Blogged @ 10:38 PM

Setiap detik berlalu gementar hatiku
Soalnya siapa sukar menjawabnya
Andainya memang pasti ke akhirnya nanti
Pencarianku ini kan bernoktah di sini

Malangnya di antara harapan dan kemungkinan
Ada parut kenangan titik hitam di masa silam
Memang sengaja ku hindari cinta
Enggan terkecewa berulang sejarah

Lantas aku atasi kelemahan diri
Mencipta dan menjejaki cecita nan tinggi
Setiap detik berlalu gementar hatiku
Soalnya siapa sukar menjawabnya

Andainya memang pasti ke akhirnya nanti
Pencarianku ini kan bernoktah di sini
Malangnya di antara harapan dan kemungkinan
Ada parut kenangan titik hitam di masa silam

Memang sengaja ku hindari cinta
Enggan terkecewa berulang sejarah
Lantas aku atasi kelemahan diri
Mencipta dan menjejaki cecita nan tinggi

Cinta hanyalah bayangan yang indah
Jauh dari alam nyata
Kuyakini ketentuan-Mu yang Esa
Pada-Mu jua kupasrah

Memang sengaja ku hindari cinta
Enggan terkecewa berulang sejarah
Lantas aku atasi kelemahan diri
Mencipta dan menjejaki cecita nan tinggi



i was devastated. i dunno wad to do. i thought i could overcome this, but i guess i couldn't. im a failure, i guess. couldn't think it's going to be this tough. sitting at home doing nothing. no income flows in. damn! thought i could overcome it. i miss her. too much i guess. how? how could i meet her and give her a HUG? i tried to call her but.... no response. grr... its so hard nowadays.. mum keep asking me to find a job. any job will do as lon im working.she thought working life is fun. can just choose any work. might as well i work as a cleaner kan... come to think of it.. i get frustrated every time she's pestering me to find a job EVERY SINGLE day... well.. im not a machine or big shot that i could get job easily. even though Suk always asking me to join her at CGH, but i couldn't commit myself to work on Saturdays. im a very committed person. so, my Saturdays are strictly for NDP. some of you may think that why am i wasting time volunteering for NDP w/o getting paid. as for me, to see the smile from the audience, the satisfaction on my Mummy's and fellow Mentors are enough for me. i love to mingle with the crowd. by doing that, i felt a sense of satisfaction. hur hur hur.... u guys won't understand the feeling... only the Motivators will knows how i felt. Right Zie, Dee?? anyway... i think wad a fren of mine told me is true. "the thing that you thought is not true, is the thing that are actually true". u guys think deep deep okay...










Ps: i love you, can?





Blogged @ 10:11 PM

what will you do if you have no work, no school, no activities to do and you feel as if you're rottng at home? arghh... its just feel so... sucks. just checking my bill and guess wad? my next bill is 75 bucks. dammit!! tried all ways to cut down the bill... ok la... 30 bucks diff from my previous bill. the question is.. where will i get the money to pay this 75 bucks?! sucks...

i hate the person who land me in this state. if not for them, i wont be stuck, unemployed. why am i being so naive to trust them, to be good to them, to help them when they need me.... when this is all i get after being so nice to them. God! i hate this kind of people. i need to work... i need money to pay bills... to give my parents... to pay for my expenses...

i have sent resumes to a lot of job vacancies... over 30 plus application. until now no response. feel lyk giving up man. feel lyk want to work in MacD or KFC or BK or any other fastfood restaurants.

did i ever tell you guys that im very hard to be pleased?

when will my life getting better???





Blogged @ 8:39 PM

the weekend went just fine. the tiredness inside of me have yet to rest. my body still aching crying for more sleep. here's wad hapen on weekend.


31 May 2008

went for ndp training in the morning. after that, we went to IMM for "I CAN" event specially for people wif Cancer Sickness. last minute we all decide to give our support to Naq's mum. so yea, that's the reason we came.






1st June 2008

my nephew got married.





2nd June 2008

then yesterday went to watch Singapore Vs Uzbekistan
there were Zie, Dee, Bakso and frens.
we dont enjoy the match BUT we enjoyed the atmosphere there.
and yes, we are planning to watch again for the next match.








Blogged @ 8:21 AM