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Thursday, November 13, 2008

was this tears supposed to mean anything or wad?

cant believe for the fact that i cried again. why am i feeling this way? i should have expected it. why do i always realise something after its to0 late? why? i know i have always fall for him. kenape ego aku tinggi sangat? for the smallest mistakes that he always do, i make it as if he've done something big. asal dengan aku nie? what's wrong with me? dammit!~

i cry and cry until there's no more tears. i cant accept it. WTF ~ why he changed? or maybe i don't know him well yet. i've been ignoring Bear's advises, denying the fact that always true. i've fallen for him but was hurt by his wrongdoings. instead of helping him, in fact im drowning him in. and i shd hav known the answer by the way he acts, the wa he msges me. darn !~

i cant cry anymore. im tired. my mind are tired of this thinking. i need someone. obviously not him. maybe i shdnt choose both. maybe i shd move on with life. forget both of them. i cant keep on hurting everyone's feelings. Pheez is right. i shd move on wif my life. dun go back to the "Ex-es" as it will only reflect the past mistakes.

Mashitah was right too. sooner or later he will get to know my true feelings. better tell me earlier than hurting him even more. but how? where do i start? maybe im better off single. didnt have to think about love life.

or maybe.... maybe i shd change my job. to forget him, to forget my ex and to change into a new "Ain".


To Lutfir,

thanks for the special moments that was spent together. those times where u fall for me no matter who i am. the way u stare, the way u look, the times we fight, i miss those times. though all the words were revealed, the lines are cleared. commitment aint easy to be one. maybe we are better off as friends. for sure, ur not ready. i can read from those eyes of urs. those three letter words after all, doesnt mean anything for real. yes, it hurts me. but wounds will be heal when times pass by. the biggest sacrifice u've made really touch me even though i never ever express it to you. let it be a secret in me. i know you wouldnt read this but i just want to express my feelings here. i'll be changing for better. im not the "Ain" you used to know. i'll change.






im such an asshole... im sorry...






Blogged @ 11:59 PM