Thursday, March 18, 2010
things been depressing for me this few weeks. i have tried to avoid unwanted incident but it just wont go away. its hard though but im trying. being the person whom going thru this making me feel how hard it is to be in this state. i dun believe time would heal all wounds. if it is true, how come i've alwaz feel miserable at times when im alone, thinking ( at that moment ) all my sorrow would "fly away" like those wind, passing us freely. whenever this feeling comes, i would smoke and smoke, thinking that the pain would go away like the smoke that come out from those stick i've smoked. but it isnt. it stuck here..deep down inside. i would rather living in those world... where life were never felt this hard. having going thru this situation, i din knw what exactly i have to do. to shout? to shut myself from the outside world? to share? smiling.. all the way thru my daily life, making me feel as if im a hypocrite to myself. how could i ever think that being smiley could chased all the pain away... none will stay... maybe its just one of those day when i feel i could shut myself from my surroundings... if only i could. sometimes i feel ( at that moment ) to dig a hole, and buried myself in and hide. far away from all this pain that are unbearable. im vulnerable. maybe though. im stupid. maybe though too. hmm...
Blogged
@ 8:12 PM
